Ouch. I just hit my head.

‘Ouch!’  I just hit my head! ‘Oh no, I’m so sorry, are you okay?’, you might say to me in response. But wait, before you do, let me tell you the rest of the story. 

You see I’ve hit my head on another glass ceiling.  As I begin to connect to what matters to me, as I connect to a passion, to my curiosity, to my desire to create the changes I want from the inside out I find myself standing taller and as I do, I’ve discovered that the room that I’m in is much smaller than it first appeared.  In fact, it’s much too small.

Reconnecting to myself and what really matters to me has given me a growth spurt.  This growth spurt came in the form of deciding to share my story. In deciding to write my story I incubated, I needed a safe space to write, to find my voice again and to become the author over my narrative.  So, the room wasn’t bad or wrong, it was a space I used to retrieve stored memories and events as I created meaning and purpose out of them.

This past weekend when I said Yes to attending my first Vancouver International Publishing Conference, this is where I discovered my glass ceiling.  Literally and metaphorically putting courage in my pocket, Andrew and I arrived Saturday as I was invited to ‘The Next Chapter: TSPA’s Author’s Party’ in which I discovered that I am their newest author (pinch me, I still can’t believe its true). 

Sunday began with a land acknowledgement, opening remarks, panel discussions, publishing trends, talks on selling stories, panel discussions around the courage to create and trauma and triumph, ending the conference with marketing and publicity and of course networking and practicing pitch.  I came away from Sunday changed.  When Andrew came to meet me at the networking party, he said ‘I glowed’.  Being in the room with writers, authors, publishers and agents the theme that stood out to me was not perfection, but authenticity.  ‘Authenticity I can do!’ and with that my spine straightened, my shoulders reposition themselves and breathe found my belly.  In fact, authenticity is one of my core values.  So, with the myth of ‘perfectionism’ begin broken in that room, I stand taller and as I do I have something to say, I just didn’t expect it to be ‘Ouch!’

Instead of trying to break through this glass ceiling, I‘ve decided to give myself permission to leave the room that I’ve been in.  As I made my way to Vancouver this weekend, as I reached out my had in introductions and as I allowed myself to blush as I 'practiced pitch', I’ve begun the process of leaving one room and putting myself in a new room as Megan, the CEO and founder of TSPA, would say. In paraphrase, Megan started the morning sharing with us about ‘Next Steps’ in which she used word imagery as she shared that the next step is like you are putting your hand on the door knob and turning it, as you take that next step, it will lead you to the next room, and in that next room there will be people to connect to, things to do and steps to take, then when its time, and you've filled that room (aka a growth spurt), you will take the next step and you will begin to connect to and find that next door and your next room, so on and so on…

Here's to my next step and your next steps.  I’d love to hear from you and see where you are in your next steps.  Let’s cheer each other on.

xo Susan